How to control worry...

Worries are Automatic Negative Thoughts(ANT) in which we generally have no control. Worries are also generally for the future. In this stressful life we cant avoid worries totally. God never keeps you worry free. Too much of worries can create major problem like alcoholism, anxiety disorder, insomnia etc. So in the mids of every thing one have control it or manage it to have a better life.

The main way to brake the Automatic Negative Thought(ANT) circle is to divert your attention and some other thing. I will try to Give some insights in minimizing the ANT circle:

• Concentrating on your breath: Here one should try to concentrate on his/her breathing and also feel the breathing. Is the breathing is too fast or not regular. If one concentrate on breathing his worry thoughts will automatically divert.
• Meditation: Concentrate on any point of the room you are in. Do it for few minute and you will feel the relaxation  flowing through head.
• Postpone Worry: Here one have to tell himself that I will worry about the matter say after 1 hour. This instruction to the brain will help release feel relaxed chemical in your brain and you will feelgood immediately
• Be in present: If you feel too much anxious then make a quick reality check that are you aware of the surrounding, or you are only half aware of your surrounding. Is there is any immediate danger  then one can feel anxious. 
• Hypnosis: Hypnosis are a great tool to get instant relief from worries. If you have a cell phone with mp3 player then download some hypnosis audio script which are available online free. 

These are some of the techniques to brake the ANT circle. Try all the technique and enjoy the present moment.

Happiness With Mindfulness

What is mindfulness? How can it keep us happy? Is it easy to practice technique?

Mindfulness is not only a technique but a meditation technique. It basically teaches us to be at present moment which distort our negative automatic thought, and let us enjoy our real time moments. I my self face lots of stress and anxiety, and for this I practice it.

Simple question how many of you are really in bathroom when you are taking bath, do you feel the water touching your skin or your mind is at work place or office. Mindfulness was natural in early days when our forefather have no tension for the future.

Mindfulness is rooted in Buddhism. It teaches us to focus on the work we are doing and thus disconnect our self from any negative emotions. There are many ways to practice mindfulness meditation but here I will explain a simple technique to start with and believe me its great.

For this you don't have to sit in meditation, rather you have to do it while you are working. Say you are washing your dish, now just concentrate on the movement of your hand while washing, feel the water touches your hand, how much clean your dishes are becoming, how your feet feeling while standing to wash the dish so on so forth. The main aim of the task is to keep yourself in the present moment. After say 10 minute you will can feel the difference and how relax you are. You can try this while driving car, walking, practically everything you do in life. There are few other techniques involved in this meditation which I will update later.

Please try this for say half an hour and keep your worry away.

Relationship break-ups

Now-a-days where everyone is trying to cope up with demanding work life, relationship break-ups make the life more unbearable. It is always painful if a marriage or a significant relation ends. The breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. It actually take sometime to recover from it, but once you recover you realize that you have grown stronger and wiser. Sometime people go into depression disorder due to such break-up and lose their self-esteem. But the reality is that life goes on and one cannot effort to sit ideal and get addicted to those painful emotions. Here I will discuss some possibilities of coping strategies during those feelings-

• New Planning: After break up every thing changes including your priorities and suddenly you  become uncertain about your future as you have to rethink your future. Here is a scope to plan a new future where you set some very positive priorities, like a desired job, re-Union with some good old friends, restart doing some old hobby or interest.
• Take it naturally: Take the feelings very naturally as those feelings are natural. Don't get crazy for those feelings. For example it is quite natural to feel depressed after a big financial loss. So a matured relation break-up is also a loss, and it is very natural to feel all short of bad feeling.
• Talking your feeling: Talking about your feeling to someone you trust is very very useful. If the person to whom you share your feeling care for you then he/she will emotionally support you and wll give unconditional comfort to you.
• Keep your self busy: Keeping busy in work will divert your mind directly. It is better to take interest in your work and keep yourself busy to achieve a certain goal.
• Make friends: Make new friends and create a meaningful friend circle is always better. Make some effort to make some new friends and meet new peoples.

 You’ll need to be honest with yourself during this part of the healing process. Try not to dwell on who is to blame or beat yourself up over your mistakes. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. If you are able to objectively examine your own choices and behavior, including the reasons why you chose your former partner, you’ll be able to see where you went wrong and make better choices next time.

Writting your emotions

Writing once emotions in a paper always give a clear picture of how rationally one is thinking. Writing down deep painful emotions is one the tool psychologist use while treating a depressed or emotionally troubled person. To get benefit it is best to develop the habit of writing diary. It will help you to keep record of all high and low emotions one is experiencing on daily basis, It also help one to realize the source of their emotions.
Sometime try to take one emotion which is troubling you and pen down it in a paper like how you are feeling, why you are feeling, is it a right feeling, whats going through your mind while you are feeling like this etc. After the session I bet your strong feeling will be lighten.
So its a good idea to maintain a diary and after sometime you will find that diary will become your best friend. You eventually trust your diary more then any one.

Money and Happiness

Does money bring happiness?
Many people says money can't buy happiness. But I say money is the biggest source of happiness in today's world. Then why people says money can't buy happiness, its because money is a power and must be spend in a constructive way not in a destructive way. If one win  a lottery and spend money for the gratification of his pleasure like drinking, 5 star life style or rather on his wildest dream then really money can bring misery as after few days he will be in debt. Again If someone become possessive about their money that also bring misery. Say every person who are your good friends or relative ask you for money when in problem then is course of time you will become anti-social.

Again if one spend money for those who really need it like poor children that act also give one lasting happiness. Sometime leisure is expected if one have excess money, but one must be careful as excess of everything is bad.

Its always better to be rich then poor. But how you spend it actually determine how much happiness you can buy.

Type of Personality

First let us discuss two type of personality we find normally:

1. Proactive
2. Reactive  

And both of them are very extreme character. Proactive peoples think less before doing something, they don't have the patience to plan, estimate or predict a plan of action in detail. They just do the things which appeal them. They take risk and think out of the box. So they become rich in very short period of time and also can lose money very quickly. They can actually initiate a big concept.

Reactive people wait for other to initiate and when the situation is right they act. They want to fully understand and asses before they act. They take lots of time waiting. Some people may get upset as they take so much of time to get start. They are good analyst.

Body Language of Proactive People

• Sign of impatient
• Speak quickly
• Pencil Tapping
• Inability to sit for a long time

Body Language of Reactive People

• Have the worlds patience
• Generally speaks in an slowly
• Can sit for a long time

Distribution

Percentage of Proactive and reactive people in the society

Proactive People-15-20%

Reactive People-15-20%

Equally Proactive and Reactive-65-70%

A proactive person are good for sales job. A reactive person is good at accounting job.


Another two type of persons that can be categorized are:

• Towards
• Away from

 A towards type people are generally stay focused towards their goal. They think towards the goal to be achieved. They are motivated to have, attain, achieve etc. Because of their concentration towards their goal they are good at managing priorities.
An Away From people are generally keeps himself away from trouble. Very less goal oriented and lives only for pleasure. They are motivated to do a certain work only when they feel threat. A sales man only works when he feels threat of losing his work.

Body language of towards people

• Good listener 
• Head Nodding
• Gestures of inclusion

Body Language of away from people

• Arms indicating that something is to be avoided
• Don't listen carefully (generally listen to a sentence after the words because)
• Gesture of exclusion
• Avoid or delay problematic situation

Percentage of towards and away from persons in society:

• 40% Towards
• 40% Away from
• 20 % equally towards and away from 

Decision

Decisions are the hardest thing on earth to make as the consequences of which you can expect but can never predict. One decision can actually change once life for good. But we actually have to make decision every day may it be very small or very big. Again decision must be in proper time, as some time good decision can turned into bad one due to improper timing. 

A decision is something which must be taken with lots of understanding which will create a deep believes on your own decision. If you don’t believe on a particular set of action then don’t take decision to implement it.  You can take the example of Gandhi who believed in non-violence against all the odds but we know the impact this action. Infect Gandhi became the discoverer of non-violent revolution.

While you take a decision you must have educate information on the matter. Don’t express your decision to everyone as advices are the cheapest commodity in this earth. And every one will be ready with a new advice which will be enough to dis-courage you or confuse you towards your decision. Most people who pretend to know everything about the matter of your plan of action are actually the one who knows very less about the subject.  So it’s better to discuss the with peoples without conveying them the purpose of your query just show your casual attitude as if your are discussing it just for your knowledge sake.

While taking the decision one must be ready for every possible consequence. As our freedom fighter while taking the decision to dedicate their whole life for freedom fighting, they know they are actually signing the death warrant. If they get success then they will be heroes and if they fail then death is surely waiting for them.